Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things feel a little better now, but this past week, not so much. For the love of Pete, this economy sucks. I got the news that I would not be getting the job I was half doing and applied for a few weeks ago. It's kinda complicated, as most things are in a bureaucratic setting, so I won't go into the whole scenario. Wouldn't put it past them to hire external over internal, although I don't know details yet. Such a wicked place. Very new experience for me, as where I used to work, I was promoted a bunch and felt rather valued. I've also never been so comfortable and uncomfortable in an interview. The comfortable part was just that I felt reasonably confident, but the uncomfy part -- can you please take the stick attached to the vacuum (with a new soul-suck setting) out of your ass and talk to me like someone you've met before? Could you ask questions directed at me, the human-like creature you work with? Stifling. I've always felt that way about UCLA Extension, but it was even more apparent in the interview process...especially in my corner, where the higher-ups send formal business emails about birthdays. Please do me a favor and un-clench. Please.

The day they broke up with me, I also got stuck in president traffic. Obama was in the busiest area of LA and they closed Wilshire Blvd. I was tooling around Westwood on a bus for 45 minutes, doing a couple y-turns, more than a little disconcerting on a bus in the middle of a neighborhood, before we got on the highway and went somewhere far from where I live. It only took me almost two hours to get home, shoulda taken 40 minutes. Was hungry and more than a little cranky. Then, the next morning, having no real honest desire to go to work, I hopped my bike, because there was a meeting I felt obligated to participate in (for the job I won't be doing anymore, uh-huh). Then, Wilshire was again closed for Obama for some undetermined amount of time. No detour specified, wait down the block until we say. Really? Sign from the verse not to go in that day, so I went along with it. Stayed home and freaked out.

So, other than having my salary cut in half (what's half of not much?), I'm happy not to have to go to the soul-sucking place as much. Where shall I go? What shall I do? I kinda like the adventure of it. Feeling a little bi-polar these days.

You know all those fun like, teenage emotions, like, you think you left behind you? I love it when they pop up again and you have to shove them back because you know better now. When someone breaks up with you, no matter in what context, the same things come up:

1) I hope the person they hire ends up being terrible/difficult and they regret not hiring me. or, I hope the next woman ends up being psycho and puts him through hell.

2) In a very short time, I'd like to get back to them with my mounds of money and fame and tell them I'm so glad they passed me over and they can stick their soul-suck vacuum somewhere else. or, I hope my hot new boyfriend is busy worshipping the ground I walk on when I run into the guy that broke up with me.

3) You can't believe they beat you to the break-up. The rejection is terrible even though you never liked them much and didn't see it going anywhere. YOU'RE breaking up with ME?????

Poppies

I visted the California Poppie Reserve last weekend, quite a spectacle. For a few weeks each springtime, you see things like this:

Cheese

Although definitely not the type of festival I'm used to in Milwaukee, it was amusing to attend "The Grilled Cheese Festival" in downtown LA this weekend. We ate cheese and various other stuff grilled on various breads, all good. The entertainment included a cheese calling contest, which of course I was fascinated by, never having heard of such a thing in my native land. The nature of the contest varied from lame to surprising. Some people just called cheese like they'd call their dog, "Here gouda gouda gouda, c'mon gouda", the winner dedicated it to her boyfriend Jack and just yelled Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack as long as her breath lasted, along with a few gyrations, and then said at the end "I love you, baby". Good laugh. The slogan for the event was "Bread-Butter-Cheese-Victory!" Great on a t-shirt.

Miss you mom and dad! Was nice to have them close for a couple months out here. Was driving one day after they left thinking "I'll stop over to see them!", and the thought made me happy, but alas, it would have been a long drive......

Ovulation

In backward chronological order:

Earthquake. No, earthshift. No, earthnausea. I just felt my third earthquake....totally weird, really slow, amost circular, felt dizzy the whole time. It lasted probably just under a minute? Did anyone see 2012? You should see what they did to Santa Monica in that movie. Yikes. From what I can tell in my brief online search, perhaps we felt the effects of a 6.9 in Baja CA? Dunno. Seems there are a few going on down that way according to the USGS.
Favorite almost quote from a cheesy movie of the day: "I told you honey, we should move back to Wisconsin!" (said by a Manhattan Beach woman to her husband after feeling an earthquake in 2012) I can't help but watch a cheesy disaster movie if it has John Cusack to boot.

Moving. Love that my friends Beth and CC found a lovely apartment in which to live. It was fun to have a moving day! They moved from teeny to something with space, which is always nice. Also had my first Shave Ice with them and other friends. Yes, that's the name of a restaurant/food. Well, that's the name of the RV turned restaurant and I wouldn't call it food. When it was first suggested, I thought they were saying Che Veiss, thinking a French restaurant specializing in German beer. In reality, it is a snow cone extraordinaire. The smallest possible shave on ice you can get without it being water. Smooth. Pretty impressive. Good for an after-treat on an active hot day.

Filming. They were shooting an episode of Entourage across the street the other day (the old Grammy building). I call Entourage penis programming, so haven't watched it. I thought I might see something, but all I saw were big trucks, security, and people driving in and out. I spotted someone that looked like Andy Garcia, but seems unlikely. Would have liked to see Jeremy Piven. Well, really would have liked him to throw a dry, sarcastic remark my way, but that seems like a lot to ask.

Whataday. Last week, I overslept by two hours. That's right. Woke up at 9 a.m. on a work day (usually get in around 8). My alarm was set. No am/pm issues. Just slept on through. Was up late for class the night before, but managed to get in to work previous weeks with no drama. Hm! Did I mention I had a performance appraisal scheduled for 10? Thought I would at least make that appointment with no problem since it takes me about 30 min. to get in by bike. Hop my bike, get about 1/3 there, and I hear something like pssssssssssssssss. Bike tire flat, ran over a furniture nail or something. I say aloud, "are you kidding me?" Assess the situation. Can I lock up my bike and catch a bus? Nope, no money (unless you count the six or seven pennies I had), and don't know the bus routes where I am anyhow. So, called in to work and told them what happened, and walked home. There happens to be a bike shop close to where I live, so I stopped in to drop off my bike. They said they could change it in a couple minutes, so I waited and off I went again! (biking and driving take about the same time, by the way, which is why I didn't hop in my car). So, no serious instances on my second attempt, and I even made it through the light at Veteran and Wilshire! This happens about 5% of the time, so I thought things were looking up. Then I got to work and found out the burrito I ordered for breakfast ended up being incorrect (celebrating someone's birthday with breakfast - missed that, too), so I just sat down and stared into space. You never quite recover after a start to the day like that. I felt bizzaro all day. My performance appraisal with the nicest evil boss ever went reasonably well, by the way. I told her I hoped she found it cute that I would pick that day to have a really bad morning, she seemed understanding.

Ovulation. Sometimes women do that. Thought it would be weird as a title.

Employment. Will I have a job in three weeks? I don't know. Please pray, meditate, vibe, refer, impart wisdom, throw ideas, or whatever it is you feel comfy with. Thanks!

How do you find yourself? How are you?

Make it happen.